It’s time to start defining my next 39 years! Don’t get me wrong– the first 39 have been great! Sure, like anyone there have been ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I count my life as blessed.
But I woke up recently realizing that I was settling. I was telling myself that “I was 39 and so this was it.” And the sick thing was that I was believing the lies. I was going to be overweight for the rest of my life–I was going to stay in the same emotional funk and I was going to say goodbye to the secret hopes and dreams, tucking them away deep inside where no one would find them.
I made that decision around my 39th birthday in March and had been living–very unhappily thank you–for seven long months, until something completely unexpected happened that rocked me to my very core.
I was at our company’s International Convention in Las Vegas in October. I was slated to speak and decided to sing a song at the end of my speech. [That hidden dream tucked neatly away…to sing and inspire people all over the world…] Most people in the company I work with weren’t even aware that I even sang. I decided to sing a song that I had written many years ago during a very deep water time in my life. I delivered the speech and introduced the song. When I sang, I didn’t hold back. I gave it everything I had within me. Maybe it was the song. Maybe it was the theatre. Maybe it was the people. Maybe it was the time of my life but as I was singing, I felt as if I had been dipped in concrete all my life and that as the notes and words came rolling out, my hardened exterior started cracking. Pieces started falling off of me and by the end of the song, I was free!
Throughout the weekend, many people came to me asking me for anything that I had on CD to give them. Many said I should pursue it. [I’ve done other things in music, but haven’t fully committed in many years.]A week after I returned home, that moment still resonated in my mind and I couldn’t shake it. So…here we go.
I am heading out to L.A. to audition for NBC’s America’s Got Talent! Yes I’m 39. Yes, I’m a little curvy! But I’ve made a decision that as I am shaping my next 39 years, I refuse to live them with any regrets. This dream of singing is the one single thing that still holds me back and it is time to break free! I am working up the song “Defying Gravity” from the musical Wicked because it is so appropriate for where I am in my life.
Over the next weeks and months, I will be recording this Defying Gravity Tour as well as the other things I’m doing to reshape my next 39 years! I hope you will choose to come along with me. I’d love to know how you would like to shape your next 39 years!
JFDI [Just Focus Do It]